Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
