Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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