You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
