He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
