Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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