I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
