How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
