Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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