So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
