SEEEEXXX PLEASE
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize