She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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