If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
