The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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