we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
