aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
lol hangovers are for mortals.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
