Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
