This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You are a genius and a whore.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
