The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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