Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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