The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
