Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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