this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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