we made out on top of his cat.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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