..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Randomize
