my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
