I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
