I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You left your phone here
Wait...
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