the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
