so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
