haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i think i have herpe
just one?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
is that a dick in a sweater?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
