I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
