As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
there's paper in my vomit.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
