So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
So much rum. So many feels.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
