This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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