woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm at about main and main street
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I had to cum in my sink.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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