did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
