i permit you to call me
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
