I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
We have started to decorate penises.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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