This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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