I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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