dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I think your dad took our porno
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
as a side note pls kill me
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
