But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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