It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
