I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
