im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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