We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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