Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
