gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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