Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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