The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
