If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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