Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
