I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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