let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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