No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
