umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
