whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
