it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize