Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
