So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
