I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
