You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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