HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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