last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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