I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize