i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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