im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
This baby is an asshole
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
