It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
