Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
sex in a hospital.. check
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
