Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
