i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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